Popped Biscuits Last Minute Adjustments

Popped Biscuits stopped by Akina Speed Stars HQ late on Thursday evening and added some... additional... aerodynamic... devices to speed ASS on their way tomorrow. Gotta love the team spirit this group is showing... one just has to wonder if they're wasting precious energy ahead of the main event? Time will tell.

Popped Biscuits Final "Preparations"

While all you pansy ass mo-fo's are off in that land filled with happy lil tree's and clouds resting peacefully in your beds, the popped biscuits team was honing their skills with rapid deployment exercises at the grocery store 10:30 the night before, and our evening has just begun. need i remind you all that "if you sweat in training you don't bleed in war"

The Gin is poured, the burgers are grilling and the tater tots are baking (450º for 18 to 20 minutes, or until golden brown) see you all in t-minus 570 minutes.. but who's able to count? where's my damned gin?

--greg

Isosceles Planning Session Revealed!

A Road Rally Planning Committee member was able to capture this image of Isosceles during a rather intense planning session. Apparently the team members took time to re-visit the convention they're going to use for their last name after the upcoming nuptials. The following were discussed:

Ciacciatz (our favorite)
Katccia (has a nice ring to it... almost like a sneeze)
Ciakaden (the first to include a fragment of Warden - evidence of Erin beginning to exert her limitless power)

But in the end they got back to the task at hand, agreeing that naming can come "after we've re-claimed what is rightfully ours." Maybe they should just go with Ciampienz?

Final Rally Odds Released

The Final Road Rally odds have been released from our bunker deep in the swamps of Lynnfield. The field is tightening.

Isosceles: Andy, Jeremy, Erin - 3:2
We can't come up with a reason NOT to keep this t-e-a-m as the odds-on-favorite to claim the hallowed Plaque o' Green this year. They scouted the start location two days early and my neighbors reported they were practicing running from the backyard to their car for an extended period of time this evening. That's borderline certifiable.

Akina Speed Stars: David, Patrick, Robert - 5:2
The mystery surrounding this team continues to build. They're proven winners, but they may be adding a new team member with no Island Pond Road Rally experience. There's a rumor the new guy is either an astronaut or a NASCAR wannabee, but we're not impressed. Let's see if he/she can hug a pig. The money continues to pile up on ASS so their odds need to change, but the smart money is still shorting this team.

Popped Biscuits: Greg, Joe & Katie - 3:1
We've seen how they write/post and we've know how they party. They certainly enjoy themselves. But there's a newbie on the team and though I've never met Katie (I'm sure she's delightful - anyone that puts up with Joe must be), she too is new to the IP RR experience. However, the addition of a female presence on this testosterone-laden crew is a net positive, so we still feel very good about PB's chances on Friday.

Big Red: Chris, Darren, Bizzy, Jessica & Joanna - 4:1
It's hard to imagine that Big Red is evolving into a true Dark Horse candidate, but that's exactly what's happening. Led by the man with the most IP RR experience in the entire field, BR was carefully crafted to win and win BIG. They have brains, brawn, booty and just a dash of boyish charm. Expect them to make the right decisions on the road and come in with a very solid (if not winning) effort.

Spice Girls: Meg, Sue & Sara - 10:1
They're posh, sporty and maybe just a little bit scary. On paper this team looks pretty solid - they have the right blend of brains and flat out gumption. However, they're as green as the day is long and this trip will be a rude awakening. If they're able to hold it together and finish strong, they'll be a solid entrant in 2007 given what they'll take away from 2006. There's just too much to learn during your first RR to make it to the winners circle. With that said, we're still bullish on this team's chances and believe they have what it takes to break into the top five!

News Flash: Catnip Repels Mosquitoes More Effectively Than DEET

Researchers report that nepetalactone, the essential oil in catnip that gives the plant its characteristic odor, is about ten times more effective at repelling mosquitoes than DEET the compound used in most commercial insect repellents.

Editors Note: I'll bet the mosquitoes in Island Pond will still carry you away. Best to bring the heavy artillery.

Weather Update - 7/26

Leave the slicker at home... pack more sunscreen!

What to Bring/Do/Not Do... The List

Hi Folks - We’re excited you’re making the trip north to Island Pond this weekend. What to Bring, What to Do, and What Not to Do? These lists cover the essential information for your trip to the Pond this weekend (not meant to be exhaustive, but should be a good guide).

If you’ve never been to The Farm in Island Pond, please continue reading and consider printing this out.

What to Bring:

1. Tent. The “sleeping in the car” thing gets old fast – rent one at REI if you need to.
2. Sleeping bag and/or blanket(s) and a pillow
3. Long pants and a warm coat. It can get down into the 50’s (F) at night in Island Pond.
4. A flashlight or lantern. The best campsites are about 100 yards from the bonfire, through the deep, black darkness that is Northern Vermont.
5. Food and snacks. We have a feast planned for Saturday night, but food is limited and up to you during the other times. Bring some breakfast foods and cold cuts, etc. to eat/share until the pig roast on Saturday night. We’ll have soda and spring water on hand – you may want to bring a Nalgene bottle.
6. A cooler. To keep your stash nice and cold.
7. Bugspray and sunscreen. This may be less important this year, with the cold temp’s at night, but Deep Woods Off will always be the scent of the weekend.
8. Sneakers or shoes that do ok near a fire. There’s a good chance they’ll get dirty and wet around the fire and in the Vermont dew.
9. A few pairs of socks. See #8, there’s nothing worse than cold feet.
10. A couple of towels and a bathing suit. For swimming/showering.
11. Rain gear. Just in case – the weather in Vermont’s NEK is unpredictable.
12. An old wood chair. We have some logs to sit on around the fire, but seats are coveted. Bring your own to use and share. Wood is nice because we can burn it when it breaks. Folding chairs are ok too.
13. Another pair of long pants. Just in case #3 gets wet and/or dirty - this is likely.
14. Hiking shoes if you want to hike a nearby mountain on Saturday. Mt Pisgah in Westmore is an awesome 3 hour hike.
15. A baseball glove, ball and bat for the game on Saturday if you wish.

What to Do:

1. Be Green. Label a cup with your favorite nickname when you get to the Farm. Try to use the same cup for the whole weekend.
2. Be Green (Part 2). Use trash barrels labeled “Burnable” for stuff that we can put in the fire. Put glass, cans, recyclable plastic, etc. in “Recycle” trashcans to pack out (there’s no trash pick-up in Island Pond). Help us pack out by taking as much as you can when you take off on Sunday.
3. Bring warm clothes that are ok near a fire. Ok, we already mentioned this, but it’s worth saying again. The bonfire can get big sometimes and the sparks start to swirl. Keep an eye on them and save your clothes. Don’t think high fashion when packing for the weekend and leave your best winter shell at home.
4. Set up your tent before you hit the kegs on Friday. It’s just not fun for you at 2am, although the rest of us will enjoy the show. Ask a veteran for the best spots to avoid the am sun/sauna effect.
5. If you can make it, stay up all night and check out the sunrise. There’s usually a pretty devoted group that makes it all night and it’s amazing to watch the changes happen between 3am and 6am (listening to the birds “wake up”).
6. If you do #5, plan to nap for a few hours in the morning and then get back on the horse for another day of good, pure fun.
7. If you want to get provisions in Island Pond, Ted’s Market is the best place around. There’s another market in town, but Ted’s always been nice to us and we know he’d appreciate the business. He on the left as you head into town.
8. Use the outdoor shower, spring-fed swimming holes, or Island Pond to “freshen up”. Keep the showers quick and let your friends enjoy the warm water magic.
9. Give the house a break… use the Porta-Potty… it’s the deluxe version!
10. If you’re up early (pre-8am), get out for breakfast. Ally's in town serves up a huge and economical breakfast. Go early to avoid the crowds (especially from our group). It's next to the shoe store - just around the corner from the old favorite (Jennifer's, which is still there, but not as good).
11. If you’re not an early riser, bring breakfast fixings. We’ll have gas grills, a gas stove, running water, and maybe a toaster or two to help you wake up. The lines downtown will be pretty long after 9am. Bring enough to share and you’ll make fast friends with some recovering party-goers.
12. Kick back and enjoy the weekend!

What not to Do:
1. Don’t drive fast in and around Island Pond. Beware of Teddy Miller, the Constable in Island Pond. He patrols the greater Island Pond vicinity. Start playing by “his rules” about 5-10 miles from the town limits. He’ll ticket you for driving 1 mph over the speed limit. Really!!! Stop and count to three at all stop signs. Basically, think back to Driving School and do your best. He hasn’t pulled anyone over for failing to use the “10 and 2” hand position, but I’d hate to be the first. You get the picture.
2. Please don’t smoke in or around the house/barns. Please properly dispose of your cigarette butts (the bonfire is also ok) before entering any of the dwellings on the property. The storage shed (adjacent to the horseshoe pits) used to be a two-story barn before a fire took out the top two floors. Fortunately, it happened before we bought the property.
3. Please don’t drink and drive. We should have pretty much everything you need at the Farm. Please bring along extra cigarettes (if you smoke) and anything else you might need to help get you through the night. Let us know if you need something and don’t feel you should drive - we’ll see what we can do.

That’s about it. Look at the bulletin board in the garage for updates throughout the weekend. The Rally teams will be arriving in Island Pond at ~6-9pm, so try to get up to the Farm early and congratulate them on a job well done.

Have a safe ride and we’ll see you this weekend!

The Storer Family and Friends

For directions to the Farm In Island Pond, please send one of us an email (not published here for security reasons).

Updated Weather from the NOAA

It's looking pretty good for the weekend. Keep your fingers crossed.

Ten Question with Abrano

This is the only photo I could dig up with Abrano in it (he's in the background in a blue shirt). He's never done the Road Rally, frequently goes to bed early and seems to avoid cameras like the plague. But he does have some thoughts to share... we caught up with him while he was getting a pedicure at one of those fancy places in the North End. The full transcript follows:

RR: What's your favorite hot tub memory? Please share.
Abrano: Definitely Nicole's hot friend Lauren in her designer bikini....she was probably the best thing ever.

RR: What's the first thing you do when you wake up on Saturday morning in Island Pond?
Abrano: Attend to any wounds suffered during the night.

RR: Please fill in the blank (feel free to continue with additional sentences to finish your thought). I never thought I'd see the day__________, but it happened in Island Pond.
Abrano: I never thought I'd see the day_that I would drive 4 hours to drink keg beer in a field at age 29_ but it happened in Island Pond.

Slim is to flip cup as David is to_____________________.
Abrano: Slim is to flip cup as David is to Hurricane by Bob Dylan.

RR: Do you have any memories from your first Pond Party in Island Pond? Please share.
Abrano: Honestly I don't remember the first Pond Party.

RR: What's your favorite Road Rally memory?
Abrano: N/A

RR: Where were you when the Red Sox won the World Series?
Abrano: Seattle. In Boston for the parade.

RR: Any advice for a first timer?
Abrano: Three bits of advice 1) bring a tent 2) beware the constable and 3) stay away from Sheflin.

RR: Have you ever hiked the brook up to the waterfall? If yes, how cold is the water?
Abrano: What, there's a waterfall ?

RR: What are you packing for the weekend that other people might think is a bit strange?
Abrano: I pack light but one thing that some people might find strange is that I intentionally listen to the french language Quebec radio station for 10-15 minutes every Pond Party. I find it relaxing.

Updated Rally Odds

The current Road Rally odds (released from our bunker deep in the swamps of Lynnfield):

Isosceles: Andy, Jeremy, Erin - 2:1
Still firmly planted at the top of the pecking order, this team is poised to bounce back from a disappointing 2005 campaign.

Popped Biscuits: Greg, Joe, Katie - 3:1
Throwing caution to the wind, we're moving Popped Biscuits up a notch. A passionate email from Greg and a side discussion with a VW Thing expert have us wondering if this team can pull it off and upset (arguably) the strongest field in RR history.

Big Red: Chris, Darren, Bizzy, and TWINS! (Jessica & Joanna) - 4:1
A back injury has this team scrambling to figure out the team dynamic, but this is nothing new to Team Big Red. The fact that they actually know who's on the team several days in advance is a plus. Some years they're recruiting strangers at the start line, which can't be good for team chemistry.

Akina All Stars: David, Patrick, Robert - 5:1
I've never had a returning champion seeded this low this close to the beginning of the Rally. But they just don't emit the vibe of champions this year. We'll see...

Strange Brew: Meg, Sue & ? - 12:1
Mike is out and Sue and Meg are considering fielding an all-female rookie team. We all know that balance is important in a rally team and this seems like it's a bit uneven. We'll see who they're able to add at the last minute.

Mystery Marauders: ??? - 50:1
This team is looking less and less likely,

Stay tuned...

For Immediate Release: NY and Maine Want In!

July 24, 2006 - Lynnfield, MA :: In a startling move, the governors from Maine (D - John Baldacci) and New York (R - George Pataki) have filed an joint injunction in Lynnfield Superior Court to force the Road Rally Planning Committee to include their states in the 2006 Island Pond Road Rally.

When reached for comment Baldacci offered, "We realize Maine's a bit out of the way, but we feel stongly about our ability to offer challenging options for Road Rally planners. Our citizens are surly, our roads poorly surfaced and the bugs are so thick they quickly blanket the windshield of even the most dilligent driver." When it was suggested that one team my actually drive in a VW Thing with the windshield down, Baldacci simply muttered, "Dear God help them."

Pataki continued, "New York is much more than Sex in the City, murder and the Yankees...' at which point this writer stopped listening.

Representatives of the Island Pond Road Rally Planning Committee were immediately dispatched to the local Barnes & Noble to pick up detailed maps of NY and Maine, though they would not confirm nor deny whether the injunction would indeed have an impact on the planned route. A hearing is set for Thursday morning at 10am.

##

Ten Questions with Jeff

In between pool dives and trips to the bathroom, we caught up with Pond Party veteran, Jeff. The following is a complete transcript.

RR: What's your favorite hot tub memory? Please share.
Jeff: I'm not a big fan of the hot tub. Apparently it's replaced the slip n' slide, one of the better island pond attractions. this is no dissrepect to Mark Kettering, lord knows the hot tub should be featured on Modern Marvels on The History Channel. But bring back the slip n' slide. nothing like the feeling of being bruised as you're going down it, then being whipped by 3 foot long grass as you fly into it. the soreness makes you forget your hangover the next day. And besides, for those people who like seeing Tim Sheflin naked, (i don't want to name names, but let's just call that person Andy K) it's just one more opportunity.

RR: What's the first thing you do when you wake up on Saturday morning in Island Pond?
Jeff: Take a piss so long, that every year i swear it must be the longest piss i ever took.

RR: Please fill in the blank (feel free to continue with additional sentences to finish your thought). I never thought I'd see the day__________, but it happened in Island Pond.
Jeff: I've come to expect the unexpected.

RR: Slim is to flip cup as David is to_____________________.
Jeff: As much as it pains me to compliment David in such a manner, David isn't that BAD at anything in life.

RR: Do you have any memories from your first Pond Party in Island Pond? Please share.
Jeff: The first year was a long time ago, i'm going to guess '96, '97. Asking for memories from that year is a tall order.

RR: What's your favorite Road Rally memory?
Jeff: We lost by like 19 hours or something like that, kris drove 10 mph under the speed limit...what could have possibly been enjoyable about that? Sign me up for next year though.

RR: Where were you when the Red Sox won the World Series?
Jeff: Sitting cross legged on my couch, wearing the same shirt, same pants, same socks for about 2 weeks straight (every since game 4 of ALCS). Clearly i'm responsible for at least .000001% of that World Series victory.

RR: Any advice for a first timer?
Jeff: If you see john storer walking up to you with that crazy look in his eye and slurring his words...run, run far away.

RR: Have you ever hiked the brook up to the waterfall? If yes, how cold is the water?
Jeff: no but i've heard andy & tim go alone.....frequently.

RR: What are you packing for the weekend that other people might think is a bit strange?
Jeff: Um....nothing. sorry to disappoint jim.

Ten Questions with Theresa

We caught up Theresa over the weekend at her beachside castle in Rockport. The compete transcript follows...

RR: What's your favorite hot tub memory? Please share.
TBird: There have been many un-favorite hot-tub memories, but my favorite is "diving" from cold to hot and then back again. Who knew you could dive in only 2 feet of water?

RR: What's the first thing you do when you wake up on Saturday morning in Island Pond?
Tbird: Many things come to mind, but after acknowledging the beating sun on my tent, my splitting headache and my need to pee, I usually head to some deserted location to pee and get mosquito bites on my ass.

RR: Please fill in the blank (feel free to continue with additional sentences to finish your thought). I never thought I'd see the day__________, but it happened in Island Pond.
TBird: Please fill in the blank (feel free to continue with additional sentences to finish your thought). I never thought I'd see the day_ Jeff McGrath would settle down _, but it all started in Island Pond.

RR: Slim is to flip cup as David is to_____________________.
TBird: Slim is to flip cup as David is to_ Beruit (DUH!)___.
p.s. FLIP IT SLIMMY!

RR: Do you have any memories from your first Pond Party in Island Pond? Please share.
Tbird: They're all blended together, but the first Island Pond Party had more barn time, more drama, and more puking. Good times.

RR: What's your favorite Road Rally memory?
TBird: I've only done the rally a few times, but my favorite memory is Bill and Jeremy trying to get in a picture with some gi-normous pigs. The farmer guy thought we were crazy and the pigs were ready to play in the mud. The boys were so scared!

RR: Where were you when the Red Sox won the World Series?
TBird: Um....watching the redsox of course! (That means, I forget exactly. I know, it's bad)

RR: Any advice for a first timer?
Tbird: Pace yourself, there is plenty of fun to be had all weekend!

RR: Have you ever hiked the brook up to the waterfall? If yes, how cold is the water?
Tbird: I guess not, unless you are talking about the cow pond. But that is neither a brook nor a waterfall. The water is cold there though!

RR: What are you packing for the weekend that other people might think is a bit strange?
TBird: Probably an assortment of vitamins and other remedies to ensure no post-partying sickness from a weaken immune system. I learned the hard way.

Interview with Joe

We were under the impression Joe couldn't form complete sentences and frequently drooled, so imagine our surprise when we spent a charming afternoon chatting with him over lemonade and crumpets. Really quite extraordinary. The complete transcript follows...

RR: Hot tub?
Joe: ug, Hot Tub Good. Flip Cups... Bad...

Ah the hot tub, I remember pulling into the rally, with our million candle power light pointing into the dark Vermont sky that fateful friday night. 12 hours in the thing, and a stomach covered in temporary tattoo's my aching body was looking forward to the hot tub... Unfortunately I never made it to the hot tub, since on my way over to the hot steamy goodness a couple of large shiny objects, that dispensed that magical elixir called 'beer' sucked me into their orbit, and I was never the same after that... I wasn't the same before that either... come to think of it i've never been the same since I found out that there was a wood fired hot tub...

RR: Wake up?
Joe: sleep is for week. I week, I sleep... er pass out. Woke up

Really? I sleep 361 day's a year so I don't have to wake up in Island Pond. I fell early last year, I made the mistake of playing flip cups... This year i'll be sporting a stylish sign around my neck informing people that I have indeed registered with the authorities, and that i'm to be kept away from the flip cup table, and any farm animals that may be in the area.

RR: Please fill in... Me______.
Joe: drink good.

I was actually born a poor black woman in the mississippi delta. After joining the merchant marines, and the french foreign legion, I learned the ancient art of map reading and balloon animals while studying in the Appalachian mountains while trying to find the perfect recipe for moonshine. My past has helped me immensely in my short rally career, with no discernible skills and my jack-a-lope reflex's I am the epitome of a rally demi-god. Okay, really the only thing I really bring to the rally is comic relief and the projector so we can see all the pictures we've taken on the way up...

RR: Yummy?
Joe: My attorney has advised me not to answer that question pending the litigation.

RR: Please fill in.... Greg_____.
Joe: Greg... there is not enough space on the world wide web to fully explain and apologize for Mr. Fulcher. the one bit of advice I have for those who don't get the 'pleasure' of Greg's company on a regular basis, is that if you avoid eye contact you'll be safe. It also helps to do everything in your power to keep him sedated with alcohol and pork.

RR: Favorite Road Rally smell?
Joe: the sweet smell of victory... or pabst blue ribbon... I'm also a big fan of the smell of burning flesh as Pat tries to drunkenly juggle hot coals

RR: Red Sox?
Joe: Katie's a big fan. i usually have red socks when I get home from riding... red with blood.

RR: Food?
Joe: yes please?

RR: Cold water?
Joe: Only when mixed with the proper amount of hops and barely to produce beer.

RR: Packing?
Joe: if it was in NH I'd have a .40cal S&W subcompact hand gun strapped to my side to keep the other rally participants... but since we'll be in the great state of VT and I can't carry there i won't be packing.

Eleven Questions with a Carnival Freak (Robert)

A lot has been said about Robert's cross-country trek in earlier posts. We caught up with him soon after he landed at Logan and got his (slightly warped) perspective on the upcoming festivities. Note: the picture above is of Robert "playing with fire."

RR: What's your favorite childhood memory involving David? Please share.
Robert: It's a toss up between that time he let me clean his car for all the change I found in it, and that time he let me clean his room for all the change I found in it. He was always so generous with his change (and his chores [the bastard]).

RR: What's the first thing you do when you wake up on Saturday morning in Island Pond?
Robert: Panic for fear of not remembering where I am.

RR: Please fill in the blank (feel free to continue with additional sentences to finish your thought). I never thought I'd see the day__________, but it happened in Island Pond.
Robert: I never thought I'd see the day my brother Joseph left a party to sleep (pass out), but it happened at Island Pond. He needs to get his tolerance up if expects to enjoy the hot tub this year.

RR: Joe is to baboon as Greg is to_____________________. Please elaborate.
Robert: Joe is to baboon as Greg is to orangutan. Slightly larger, more scraggaly fur, less apt to show his ass to the ladies. (of course, both are grease monkeys in rehab...)

RR: Please explain how you became a carnival freak?
Robert: Have you met my brothers? Wouldn't you run away from home?

RR: What is the craziest carnival moment you've been a part of?
Robert: I really shouldn't be saying this, but it involved a high wire act, some cream pies, an elephant, the bearded lady and... well, let's just say my bedroom will never be rid of that smell.

RR: What's your favorite Road Rally memory?
Robert: The really nice bartender in St. Johnsbury who went through the garbage for us to get the grease-stained french-fry smelling newspaper for us, which just happened to have the information we needed (zodiac signs?). I mean, I've never tipped a bartender that much for not giving me a drink.

RR: Any advice for a first timer?
Robert: For the Road Rally? Run. Run like the wind. Oh, and bookstores have as much trivia as libraries. For the Party? Make sure you can poor a pitcher of beer without having the whole thing be foam (Patrick, you know what I'm talking about).

RR: Do you have any memories from your first Pond Party in Island Pond? Please share.
Robert: They're a bit spotty, but I'd have to say my favorite memory (outside of the road rally) is of course hiking Pisqua on Saturday with my brother. There's nothing like swearing under your hungover breath for a few hours about some 'mildly athletic' hike that ends in simply amazing views. I might try to get more than 4 hours of sleep this year, however. Oh, and if you come down from the mountain and your car is covered in heat-and-eat dinner rolls, just find Greg and throw things at him. It's always his fault.

RR: Have you ever hiked the brook up to the waterfall? If yes, how cold is the water?
Robert: Why does no one know about this waterfall? Is this a trick question? I hiked your damn mountain already, I think you're making this up. What more do you people want from me? Are you gonna be hiding out there with the duct tape and the rubber hose? I thought I told you 'no' already!

RR: What are you packing for the weekend that other people might think is a bit strange?
Robert: Deer musk. It gets alllll the ladies. *wink wink*

--
robert

Ten Questions with Bizzy

Bizzy (the brains behind Team Big Red re-emergence during last year's Rally) (2nd from left btw) took time out from her busy schedule to sit down with us. Here's the full transcript:

RR: What's your favorite hot tub memory? Please share.
Bizzy: i've never actually been in the hot tub, i have pictures of it that i don't want to remember though.

RR: What's the first thing you do when you wake up on Saturday morning in Island Pond?
Bizzy: the first thing i do is sit in the bed of wayne's truck waiting for people to get up. i'm an early riser no matter what time i go to bed.

RR: Please fill in the blank (feel free to continue with additional sentences to finish your thought). I never thought I'd see the day__________, but it happened in Island Pond.
Bizzy: i need to get back to that.

RR: Slim is to flip cup as David is to_____________________.
Bizzy: ...wresting with erik.

RR: Do you have any memories from your first Pond Party in Island Pond? Please share.
Bizzy: first island pond...i didn't really know anyone so i don't really remember much except for the fights between phil and jeff!

RR: What's your favorite Road Rally memory?
Bizzy: my favorite road rally moment must have been waiting last year by the bon fire for the results to be anounced. we didn't win but nobody has ever been that close. i came from last place on jake's team to second by one minute on big red!!!

RR: Where were you when the Red Sox won the World Series?
Bizzy: where was i when the red sox won the world series?? on the couch at erik's house wishing it was the yankees that won AGAIN!!

RR: Any advice for a Road Rally first timer?
Bizzy: advice for first timers....during the Rally don't sit and talk with everyone for ever. you have a game to play. expain what you are doing and get going. some people can talk to you for hours!

RR: Have you ever hiked the brook up to the waterfall? If yes, how cold is the water?
Bizzy: i've never hiked there.

RR: What are you packing for the weekend that other people might think is a bit strange?
Bizzy: i don't think i'm packing anything that's strange.....um.......

Ten Questions with Erin

Two-time Rally Champion Erin (above with Isosceles teammates Andy and Jeremy) took time out from her busy training regimen to share her thoughts on the weekend. The complete transcript follows:

RR: What's your favorite hot tub memory? Please share.
Erin: Tim S. running naked from the hot tub around the bonfire. I think that happens every year, but it still makes me laugh (Nothing personal Tim, a naked running man just makes me laugh.)

RR: What's the first thing you do when you wake up on Saturday morning in Island Pond?
Erin: I have a sip of Gatorade and think to myself, "just 364 days until the next Road Rally."

RR: Please fill in the blank (feel free to continue with additional sentences to finish your thought). I never thought I'd see the day__________, but it happened in Island Pond.
Erin: I never thought I'd see the day that I would run around like a madwoman all over NH and VT, to help Isosceles win the Plaque o' Green, but it happened in Island Pond…and I keep coming back, year after year.

RR: Slim is to flip cup as David is to_____________________.
Erin: Oh, I don’t like analogies, but I like David. David is a nice guy.

RR: Do you have any memories from your first Pond Party in Island Pond? Please share.
Erin: I remember arriving really late but having lots of fun. I think we saw a moose on the drive up. Year number two was even better because we joined the Road Rally and won. Good times.

RR: What's your favorite Road Rally memory?
Erin: Well, winning of course! That just feels good.

RR: Where were you when the Red Sox won the World Series?
Erin: I was watching the game at home with Jeremy and Brian Fruh. We watched the chaos from our window. People were running down Beacon Street towards Kenmore Square like Godzilla was chasing them. It was madness.

RR: Any advice for a first timer?
Erin: DO THE ROAD RALLY!!! Have fun. You might end up with an injury or two, but it’s worth it in the end.

RR: Have you ever hiked the brook up to the waterfall? If yes, how cold is the water?
Erin: No, I have not hiked the brook. I bet the water is cold though. I’m ready to hike the brook up to the waterfall if needed.

RR: What are you packing for the weekend that other people might think is a bit strange?
Erin: I’ll be packing a big bag of determination and dedication……Go Isosceles!

News Alert: Extended Forecast

Here's the current long range forecast for Island Pond, VT next weekend (7/28-30). I like the % chance of rain, but have come to realize you can't count on these things...

Ten Questions with Tim

We sat down with Tim (2nd from left) to get his perspective on the weekend festivities. What follows is the complete transcript:

RR: Do you have any memories of the famous "naked log tossing" episode? Please share.
TS: I've tossed many a log naked... OH! You mean up at the farm! Well yes, I do recall it vaguely. Was there a pig's head involved? OK. Maybe I don't remember it too well…

RR: What's the first thing you do when you wake up on Saturday morning in Island Pond?
TS: The terms "morning," "afternoon" and "evening" have no meaning to me at Island Pond. I usually don't sleep until the sun has been up for several hours and I’ve already joined folks for a great breakfast in town...

So, what do I do when I wake up on Saturday? I get back on the horse…. Play a little volleyball… chat up the folks at the bonfire… go to the beach… whatever activity I’m in the mood for.

RR: Please fill in the blank (feel free to continue with additional sentences to finish your point). I never thought I'd see the day__________, but it happened in Island Pond.
TS: I never thought I’d see the day a pig’s skull would perform fellatio, but it happened in Island Pond.

I never thought I’d see the day when my summer camp swim instructor, bombed out of his mind, would go 13 for 13 in flip cup, despite never having played the game before in his life, but it happened at Island Pond.

I never thought I’d see the day when my middle school baseball coach would throw a near empty plastic cup directly in the face of Katz’ middle school girlfriend, but it happened at Island Pond.

I never thought I’d see the day someone would throw a piece of pork and knock down ten full cups of beer during a game of Beirut, but it happened at Island Pond.

I never thought I’d see the day a caste iron garbage can, some tubing, and a kiddy pool converted into a 5 star quality hot tub, but it happens at Island Pond.

RR: Slim is to flip cup as David is to_____________________.
TS: Slim is to "flip cup" as David is to "not taking an off-hand comment seriously." … the boy was born without the ability to “let it go”

-Sarajian is to "showing you his karate moves when he’s drunk" as everyone else it to "breathing"…I get it… You can kick my ass. Next topic PLEASE.

-McGrath's intentions towards a grill are as Hitler’s intentions for the world… You are THE grill Nazi.

-"Team Isosceles" is to "the Road Rally ‘06" as "Michael Jordan" is to the "NBA championship in his first full comeback season"… Nothing will stop them. The fire burns deep within that trio…

-"Russo’s desire to win at horseshoes" is to "Russo" as "Maddox’s desire to cut things up with a chainsaw" is to "Maddox"…If those activities were ever in conflict it would be a frightening thing to see.

-"Jim’s decision on a Road Rally controversy" is to "the word 'final'" as "Bill’s nuts on a ping pong table" are to the word "'creepy'"…Not the act. The nuts themselves…

-"Abrano is to "the wind" as "Superman" is to "kryptonite"…It’s like a dog’s aversion to thunder.

-"T-Dog’s desire for the Greyhound to like her" is as "Mike’s desire to find someone to throw a Frisbee around"…by the end of the weekend it usually happens, but it’s far from a sure thing.

-"Sheflin" is to "'Dumpster'" as The "United States" is "slavery"…a dark, dark point in history

RR: Do you have any memories from your first Pond Party in Island Pond? Please share.
TS: Whew. Year 1. I’m bad with time and when things happened. I’m great with the individual memories, terrible with remembering when they happened.

One of the great things about Island Pond, however, is that time ceases to exist. Nobody ever checks their Blackberry and says, "I can’t play Beirut in the barn with you right now because I’ve budgeted the next hour for playing bocce on the beach." Instead they walk around aimlessly and just say (in their most primitive inner voice), "Weather nice now. Feel like going to beach. Will grab glass of jungle juice first because it’s yummy. Hmmm… Jungle Juice good. Hey look! Nice people laughing and playing ping pong ball game! What are THOSE people doing? Pictures on cards are funny! I want to play!" Then they sit down and play a$$hole. It’s that simple.

Jim, what was your question again?

RR: How did the "tiki torch run" come into existence? What's the likelihood we'll see it in 2006?
TS: I don’t even know what to say here…

I guess I’ll start off by saying I don’t like to wear pants. I find them confining. When society says, "you must wear pants," I say "SOCIETY! DAMN YOU AND YOUR CONFINING WAYS." It’s not that it’s socially acceptable to run around a bonfire wearing nothing but flip flops (while carrying a burning torch at Island Pond), but it’s as close to socially acceptable as I’ve been able to find. It’s a "seize the moment" sort of thing.

What was the genesis of this activity? Who knows? I certainly can’t remember. How it began is not the point. It’s what it does for you that matters. Not everyone can do it, but secretly, in our heart of hearts, we all want to. It’s a way for us, men and women, young and old… all of us to say, "SOCIETY! You may be comprised of billions of people, you may make us wear a piece of purposeless cloth around our necks at business meetings, or pointy shoes that hurt, but you are NOT stronger than the will of a handful of people who are gonna grab those tiki torches, take off their clothing, and run around that fire buck naked!!!!!!" BUCK YOU SOCIETY! YOU CANNOT STOP ME!!!!!!!

Or maybe it’s just a way to make a fool of yourself when you’re drunk, but either way it’s a hell of a lot of fun. The tiki torch run WILL return in 2006.

RR: Where were you when the Red Sox won the World Series?
TS: A bar called Anam Cara, which I believe is called something different now. The bar itself was pretty typical for a bar in Boston at the time... a complete mob scene. One highlight was the owner of the place. He’s a large gent whom, based on his appearance, seemed to have a penchant for beating the snot out of people. He stood up on the bar when St. Louis came up in the ninth and basically announced, "you guys have been great, this is awesome, it's really gonna happen, but if anyone f@%cks with my bar I'll rip your kidneys out."

A personal back-story: Snuffy got a group together to watch game 1 of the Yankees series. "We should go to Jillian's because they'll be a ton of hot chicks there." Normally I'm up for hot chicks, but there is no circumstance where I have less of a chance with (and less of a need for) a lovely lass then when I'm watching the Sox in the playoffs. During the playoffs I'm edgy, easily agitated, prone to scream malicious things at certain ratlike Yankees catchers, and generally I look like Hell... OH! I also throw things… a lot.

Anyway, the Sox lost after a tantalizing come from behind bid and I behaved like a raving lunatic. After that I watched every subsequent game by myself from my couch at home. Katz, Mike, Corey, Curt (Eric were you there?) dragged me out to the bar for game four, and I'm glad they did. After they won, very little was said, we ordered a round of beers and sat peacefully, like a group of country gents sittin' on a porch without a care in the world. Probably one of the most peaceful times in my life. Chaos all around us, but we just sat there and soaked it all in.

RR: Any advice for a first timer?
TS: The fear you feel is normal. Don't try to suppress or ignore it. Yes, Mike was almost run over by a car while passed out in the driveway… Sure, I almost amputated my toe when chopping wood for the fire…. Fine, Jesse came back from mudding with a gigantic gash on his shin… True, we all were almost decapitated by a "commercial grade" firework at one time or another, but do not let the fear dominate your existence. Harness it, for if you do not, it may consume you.

Use the added adrenaline to break through the routine of everyday life, and if you're lucky, when you think you have no more energy, when you think you've run out of steam, when you've flip cupped like you've never flip cupped before, you may be lucky enough to have an "Island Pond Moment."

My IPM came late on a Saturday (I can't remember which year… see above). I was coming off a particularly difficult week at work. Difficult as it was, I rallied and had an amazing time on Friday night and through Saturday afternoon. My tank, I thought, was empty. I was standing on top of the shed, and I looked around to assess what I should do next:

Volleyball is being played, there’s a heated debate over the US's monetary contributions to the UN by the bonfire, several folks are checking on the roast, someone hooks a ringer at the horseshoe pit, a group is walking down the driveway after going to the beach, as an eruption of laughter explodes from the barn… and the sky is about as pink and beautiful as I've ever seen...

I'm not sure how long I stood there and watched this scene, but it seemed like forever. For that moment, for that blip in time, I didn't have a care or fear in the world.

Also, bring bugspray.

RR: Have you ever hiked the brook up to the waterfall? If yes, how cold is the water?
TS: You see!!!!! This is why I love Island Pond. NO!!!! Can you believe that? I didn’t even know there was a waterfall! Who knew? In all honesty, you could have said there is a unicorn that is best buds with Yoda, speaks German, and resides in a cottage made of gingerbread and I’d be less surprised.

RR: What are you packing for the weekend that other people might think is a bit strange?
TS: Absolutely nothing… My packing routine takes about three minutes. I pack a bunch of tee-shirts, a sweatshirt, 5 pair of boxers, two pair of jeans, a package of beef jerky, and I’m good. For the Party at the Pond I take a minimalist approach.

TS

Ten Questions with Gregor

This was such a popular feature last year, I figured we'd revive it. Since he's apparently got nothing going on this week and is the current co-host of this blog, Gregor agreed to sit down and answer ten questions posed by the Road Rally Editorial Team. Here is the complete transcript:

Gregor: Hot diggity Dawg! I'M FAMOUS!!! Oh, what? uhhhh, Oh. That wasn't a question? My bad. What's the first question?

RR: What's your favorite hot tub memory? Please share.
Gregor: Favorite Hot Tub memory, eh? It's actually not too far off from something you'd read in one of those 'adult magazines'. But, my SECOND best memory was also in Vermont: My friends had a sweet house on the hillside, overlooking Camel's Hump. In the winter, we'd have dinner, drink copious amounts of vino and then somebody would invariably yell "HOT TUB!!!!", at which point all present would feverishly strip off all their clothes, run out the back door, around the house, and then hop in the hot tub. Mind you, there was typically several feet of snow on the ground, and night time in the winter, in Vermont tends to be a bit uhh, cold.

RR: What's the first thing you do when you wake up on Saturday morning in Island Pond?
Gregor: Firstly, I'd like to point out a flaw in your question: you GO TO SLEEP on Saturday morning, and wake up in the afternoon! Otherwise, it's a simple, three step process during the week:

Step 1: Wake Up
Step 2: Drink Coffee
Step 3: PROFIT!

But, Island Pond is a vacation, so what I do first isn't nearly as fun as my favorite hot tub memory, that being to S-T-R-E-T-C-H....... It's the best way to start any day, really. Once I find my glasses, or anybody's glasses, I look around to make sure I'm in my own tent and that my lousy teammate, Joe, was keeping his filthy mitts to himself.

RR: Please fill in the blank (feel free to continue with additional sentences to finish your thought).I never thought I'd see the day ___________, but it happened in Island Pond.
Gregor: I never thought I'd see the day my liver exorcised itself from my abdomen, but it happened in Island Pond.

SERIOUSLY!!! After drinking a bunch of beers, a bottle of wine, and then half a bottle of fine, fine bourbon, my liver decided to pack it's sh*t, citing "a hostile environment" or some cockamamy B.S. like that, and head for higher ground.

Rumor has it that it's now living in a hotel room in Vegas with Johnny Walkers' liver and the Marlboro Man's left lung, moonlighting as the worlds' largest Jello-Shot at the freak show on Fremont St. I cannot, regrettably, corroborate this information.

RR: Slim is to flip cup as David is to ________________________.
Gregor: Slim is to flip cup as David is to make me coffee in the morning.
...and that's an order, son.... (I don't know what that means, having never been that good at those types of calculus problems).

RR: Do you have any memories from your first Pond Party in Island Pond? Please share.
Gregor: Oh, shucks... considering that the forthcoming weekend has become my "New New Years", I would say a resounding "YES" is apropos. The people, the locale, the fireworks, the food... The vibe & positive energy. I recall talking to Rob (Team Akina Allstars) that the Pond Party was truly an exclusive party. Not in a VIP, cordoned off, valet parking limelight kinda way, but for all the reasons aforementioned. It was, hands down, the highlight of my summer, and in the top 3 for the whole year. To be included is an honor - so, thank you all.

RR: What's your favorite Road Rally memory?
Gregor: That's like asking me to name my favorite song... Cruising under the stars, smoking a fine cigar, listening to Miles Davis, wondering where they hell we were is up there on the list.. I feel bad about hitting that cat, but jacking the brakes in an attempt to avoid it allowed us to scrub off some speed and thereby find the egg farm around the next corner. Thanks, Kitty - you didn't die in vain. I love talking to strangers, and the rally isn't for anybody who is timid in that regard: seeing people smile when we explained what we were doing was redemptive.

RR: Where were you when the Red Sox won the World Series?
Gregor: I've never been much into Jai-Alai...

RR: Any advice for a first timer?
Gregor: Sorry. Trade Secrets shalt not be divulged.

RR: Have you ever hiked the brook up to the waterfall? If yes, how cold is the water?
Gregor: I have hiked up A brook to A waterfall, but not at the Farm - didn't know there was one! I have been skinny dipping in the Northeast Kingdom a number of times in the early Spring though (went to college at Lyndon State, just down the road), and I can say that shrinkage does in fact occur. Your lungs also stop working until you regain consciousness after diving in, beware: the risk of becoming Hypothermic is dangerously high. Drink plenty of Bourbon (but not mine) before taking the plunge.

RR: What are you packing for the weekend that other people might think is a bit strange?
Gregor: We'll be packin' meat (actually a can of Potted Food Meat Product) for good luck, a punch (to our opponents), and HEAT (in case any of you biznatchez tries any funky shiznitz on da road).**

I will also be carrying a number of spare parts for the trusty VW THING, of which I won't bore you with the details. Otherwise, probably nothing too far out of the ordinary. I'm a proponent of packing light. In the THING, LIGHT = SPEED.

**Note: One of these may not be entirely true.

Popped Biscuits Busts a Nut

Wow! On behalf of Team Popped Biscuits, I would like to express our gratitude for an advance up the ladder o' odds.

Admittedly though, not being much of a sports fan, I don't fully understand the whole "handicap" thing. I do understand that we are in fact, officially on the record as being mentally handicapped, especially with Joe on board. Katie (our new team member, filling for Ye Spotted Bitch) more than offsets Joe's mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging, cleft-chin, sloped-forehead, uni-brow "charm"...

I would also like to point out that many new cars have standard, navigations systems and I am naturally skeptical about this fancy- pants BMW X3 that Team Strange Brew will be piloting.

Jim: I hereby request a full inspection of this vehicle, and permission to go aboard if a NAV system is suspected. I will bring my wire clippers in the event I find any contraband. The THING's navigation system is a simple device: the steering wheel. When used properly, it can be quite effective.

I would also like to point out that I'm a bit under-whelmed by the lack of trash-talkin' on behalf of all other teams. Are they just scared? Methinks so.

-=greg=-

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Pond Party Organizers Stirring It Up in 2006;

Official Sponsor Announced

The Island Pond Road Rally Planning Committe recently announced that Stirrings™ will be the official sponsor of the 2006 Island Pond Road Rally/Pond Party. Stirrings (producer of premium drink mixers and garnishes) is a natural fit for an event that annually attracts some of Boston’s most influential consumers.

When reached sailing off the coast of Nantucket, Stirrings President, Paul N. was quoted as saying, “This party attracts a core group of B-list movers and shakers. I would be doing my company a disservice not to involve Stirrings with this event. I will personally drive a truckload of Mango Margarita mixers to Island Pond if I have to.”

Island Pond Inc.’s Director of Planning in the Tractor & Keg division, Jon S, shared his excitement: “There’s nothing like a Tangerini to quench your thirst after you’ve been chopping wood in the fields all day.”

Pond Party veteran, Slim, was quick to support the new sponsor. “This is amazing. You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to play flip cup with a Mojito.”

The IP marketing staff courted Stirrings after a falling out with former sponsor, DeLORME (producer of maps). Sources close to the Road Rally Planning Division have indicated that the problem stemmed from an argument between DeLORME executives and IP’s Director of Road Rally Planning, Jim S. Jim insisted DeLORME publish a detailed map of NH and VT towns with cemeteries, including a fold-out chalk pocket for etching tombstones. DeLORME was not convinced of its mass appeal, and was slightly disturbed by the suggestion. Jim has not returned calls placed to his Road Rally bunker deep in the swamps of Lynnfield.

###

Rally Odds Revised

Here at Road Rally Central we take releasing new odds very seriously. We crunch the numbers, interview rally teams to determine their psychological state and watch an awful lot of Red Sox games (or Baseball Tonight when they play afternoon games). We also think about asking Tim S his opinion, but then conveniently forget to send him an email until press time, when it's too late. Maybe next time...

The current odds (released from our bunker in the Nevada desert):

Isosceles: Andy, Jeremy, Erin - 2:1
Two words... FO CUS. The Ciacciatz's have pretty much put wedding planning on the back burner to train for the Rally. I've seen them running intervals on the Bedford High School track while holding live chickens. They mean business. They were also the only team to choose the same start time on a recent survey of rally teams.

Big Red: Chris, Darren, Bizzy, and TWINS! (Jessica & Joanna) - 3:1
Calm, cool, collected and completely clueless, but somehow it works. Putting money on Big Red is like betting on the house... they're almost always in the mix.

Popped Biscuits: Greg, Joe, Katie - 4:1
Greg seems like he has some extra time on his hands, so it's just a mtter of time before he figures this whole thing out.

Akina All Stars: David, Patrick, Robert - 5:1
One word... distracted. This team is falling faster than a pair of cement shoes. Patrick may be willing to jump into a pool with more algae than the local swamp in August, but it just doesn't feel like enough to repeat.

Strange Brew: Mike, Meg, Sue - 10:1
A new X3, no inhibitions and zero navigation skills? I'm throwing caution to the wind and calling this team a lock to break into the top five.

Mystery Marauders: ??? - 20:1
What can you say about a team that you can't say anything about? That's right - not much. I sure hope this team makes it to the start line.

Stay tuned...

Rally Planning: Recommended Items

With just 10 days left until the start of the Island Pond Road Rally, it's time to start your preparation. Some things you might want to consider (in no particular order):

1. Fully operational CD player that can successfully play a cd burned from an iTunes account (we've already covered this one).
2. Maps of NH and VT (especially the extremely detailed versions available in book form). We do not promise any maps in the RR Packet.
3. A camera with the ability to take 50+ photos and display them upon arrival at the Farm for check in (digital preferred, instant ok).
4. A few gallon sized zip lock bags.
5. A pair of rubber gloves.
6. A 10' length of nylon rope.
7. A bathing suit and dry towel.
8. A Sharpie and a ball point pen
9. Some Altoids
10. A dry pair of socks.

More to follow tomorrow...

Will the REAL Farmer's Almanac Please Stand Up?

Some of you might recall a post several months ago in which I discussed the long range forecast for the Island Pond weekend and the liklihood that you might need a slicker/hip waders. Well, it looks like I/we may have been duped by an imposter. It seems that little bit of mis-information came from none other than FarmersAlmanac.com, not the bellweather of homespun farm journalism, The Old Farmers Almanac.

"So what's the big deal," you might be thinking to yourself? Well, let me show you... according to the Old Farmers Almanac this is what we should expect for the end of the month in New England:

Jul. 25-31: Sunny, comfortable

So, just for kicks let's take a look at the weather for last two weeks according to these two:

FarmersAlmanac.com:
1st-3rd. Thunderstorms.
4th-7th. Mostly fair.
8th-11th. Thunderstorms in New England.
12th-15th. Hefty thunderstorms push to the Atlantic Coast.
16th-19th. More thunderstorms, then clearing.

The Old Farmers Almanac:
Jul. 1-12: Seasonable; scattered t-storms
Jul. 13-17: Sunny, hot

It's a little spooky, eh? Score one for the publication that's been (correctly) predicting the weather since 1792. I can't make this stuff up.

So I'd like to formally call off the ark-building exercises, although I've heard through the grapevine that Chris F and team built an impressive vessel.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

...or...whatever team you prefer.

- Andy

Notes from the Road: It IS all about the Babes

Darren is right. What was I thinking? It's all about the Road Rally babes!

- Andy


ps... Holy sh*t! That looks like an aged Geraldine Ferraro, with glasses!

A brush with greatness, only on the road rally!

-greg

The Real Reason to Rally

Hey Folks.

Awwwwww, these stories are beautiful. Wonderful. Inspiring even. But let's remember what Rallying is all about... Hot chicks baby!

Darren (Team Big Red)

Editors Note: I wonder what Mrs. Darren thinks about this? And is it just me or does the guy on the stool (below) have the best seat in the bar? I can hear him talking to his buddies later... "So I stopped by Sully's for a nooner and you're not gonna believe what I saw..."

Notes from the Road: Popped Biscuits' Near Miss

Hey Jim and fellow Rallyfolk!

I'd like to share a story from last years Rally, which will give you an insight into the trials of Team Popped Biscuits.

It was getting late, cold and obviously quite dark. The task at hand was to find the egg farm.

No problem, right? RIGHT...

We arrive in whatever town it was, with grand plans to simply use our charm to get directions.. SURE...

Imagine our dismay when we realized that there was NO PLACE to ask directions at. No gas station, no nothing! So, off into the darkness we careen in the Thing, with it's somewhat dim headlamps. Using our homing pigeon skills (from birth) and a heavy dose of Zen, we embarked down a road under the crystalline, sans moon night sky glinting with more stars than one could count. The benefits of open-roof motoring should now be apparent - see what you all missed?

Speaking of missed, with Miles Davis on the hi-fi, The Spotted Bitch curled up in her jacket, under her blanket, in her wool bed in the back seat, and with Joe and I each smoking a fine Rocky Patel 1992 Vintage cigar, there it was just entering the outer reaches of my headlights... A friggin' cliff wall! Now, mind you we weren't going "that fast", but speed is subject to relativity in the Thing with its casual approach to braking and cornering. We quickly turned up the Zen, took a startled, deep draw on the cigars, and with a delicate balance of brake pedal and steering input, I somehow managed to miss smashing into this rock wall on the outside of the sharp left curve. There was tire squeal, there was first some understeer, and then oversteer, some gnashing of teeth, one Dalmatian in the back seat getting up to see what all the fuss was about, promptly losing her balance and flailing against the thing metal door. Most importantly though, the CD playing Miles Davis didn't skip.

We didn't hit that rock wall, but the clearance between the Thing and Aggregate was negligible.

Around the next corner, the Thing and it's occupants regained composure and if you were to be standing on the side of the road, you would have heard guffaws and Miles Davis and the drone of that sweet little flat-four aircooled motor. As we passed, a waft of burning oil, exhaust and 1992 Vintage Rocky Patel cigars would fill your nose.

It's all about the adventure!

-greg-

Notes from the Road: Isosceles Pyramid (2005)

Posted on behalf of Isosceles...

Jim - I thought you might appreciate the following email exchange. Last year, we built our human pyramid at the Harpoon Brewery (picture attached). One of our 'strangers' insisted that we send him the picture and gave us his email address. I forgot to send it to him until I was reviewing last year's rally lists and noticed his address scribbled on the top of 'The Brain Benders' sheet. I sent him an email, today. The following exchange took place...

Subject: Human pyramid at Harpoon Brewery

Jason:

Better late than never...thanks for helping us with our human pyramid.

We rally again in two weeks. Maybe we'll see you out there.

Andy

-------------------

Hey Andy,

Thanks a bunch for the photo. Glad to help!!

I'll look for you over at Harpoon next time I head back. I work down in Cambridge, MA now, so getting there is a bit more of an excursion.

I'll keep my eye out though.

-Jason


PS... Please send me an email (jstorerj at gmail dot com) with your story from Road Rally's Past.

Updated Rally Teams/Odds

Akina All Stars: David, Patrick, Robert - 3:2
Last year's champs open as this year's favorites. However, David's frantic work schedule may impact their odds as we get closer to the Rally. Stay tuned...
Isosceles: Andy, Jeremy, Erin - 2:1
Nothing solidifies a team like the bitter taste of defeat and last year's loss supplied that elixir for Isosceles. Going for three in a row is no longer the quest, but a return to greatness has Isosceles focused like no other team on the slate.
Big Red: Chris, Darren, Bizzy, and TWINS! (Jessica & Joanna) - 4:1
Can Big Red rebound from the one minute loss last year? That's the question and since it's hard to even chat with this team until the big day, it will probably go unanswered until we all congregate around the bonfire on Friday night for the awards ceremony.
Popped Biscuits: Greg, Joe, Katie - 13:3
Greg and Joe cut their teeth in 2005 with an admirable showing. Replacing the Spotted Bitch with the unproven Katie may be the move that puts them over the top... or it could prove disasterous.
The Brew Crew: Mike, Meg, Sue - 20:1
It's always a challenge to handicap rookies, but after speaking with this team at length during the pre-DMB party hosted by Isosceles I get the sense they're for real. In the end, it usually comes down to footware. So if the ladies on this team choose Adidas over Apepazza and they can convince Mike to leave the Birkenstocks at home, they might have a shot to crack the top five.
Mystery Marauders: ??? - 25:1
Not too much to say here. All we can report is that we have a team that would like to remain nameless. They do have experience on their side and they could have a scary combination of speed, tenacity and an utter lack of humilty. Look for them to move up week-to-week as more information leaks out about them.

The Scavenger List (v2005)

The 2005 Scavenger List (draft) for your viewing pleasure...

---------------------------------------------------------
The following lists are collectively known as The Scavenger List. The Mandatory Items must be completed before your team will be considered finished with the Rally. Any Mandatory Items not completed will carry a 30-minute penalty when your Bonus Time is calculated. The Optional Items include items you may consider to collect while on the road. Items from the Optional List carry a Time Bonus, which will be deducted from your Overall Elapsed Time if the item is collected and verified in accordance with the Rally Rules. If you have questions, please refer to #6, #8, #9, and #10 of the Rally Rules. Good Luck!

Pre-Rally Requirement: Every team must find and purchase a Rubber Duck (one that is appropriate for a bathtub) and bring it with them to the start line. Note: The rubber duck must be in all photos taken during the Road Rally.

Mandatory Items
1. A beer pitcher signed by a bartender.
2. A photo of your Rubber Duck in a pizzeria’s oven.
3. One human team member must arrive at the Farm with at least 20 temporary tattoos properly applied to his/her body.
4. A photo of a team member getting a “trim” in a barber’s chair (barber must be in the photo).
5. Find a headstone with today’s date on it (August 26, any year) and make a chalk etching of it.
6. A photo of a team member sitting in a Mustang convertible with at least one stranger.
7. A photo of your team participating in a six-person human pyramid with at least three strangers.
8. A photo of your rubber duck jumping off a bridge into water (photo must include bridge, water and duck in mid-air).
9. One sixteen ounce Pabst Blue Ribbon beer can (unopened).
10. A photo of a human team member doing a cannonball off a stranger’s diving board.

Special Mandatory Items: Upon arriving at the Farm, every team must present a completed Spongebob Square Pants 100-piece puzzle and execute five successful "flip cups" before you will be considered “off the clock.” Each human team member must complete at least one of the five flip cups. If there are more than five human team members on your team, then each flip cup will be executed by a different team member (only five req’d).

Optional Items
1. A VT euro or "I Love Vermont" sticker permanently affixed to your Rally car (20 minute bonus).
2. Evidence that a Rally Team member opened a VT/NH bank account during the Rally (30 minute bonus).
3. A four-leaf clover (40 minute bonus).
4. A green golf tee. (10 minute bonus)
5. A photo of a team member on a Harley Davidson motorcycle (owner must be in the photo and they must be giving the “thumbs up” sign) (30 minute bonus).
6. A photo of a Smokey the Bear Fire Danger Sign (20 minute bonus).
7. A Kerry/Edwards campaign poster or bumper sticker (15 minute bonus).
8. A photo of your team next to a personal aircraft (pilot must be in photo). (40 minute bonus)
9. A kite with enough string to fly it on a windy day (500 feet). (20 minute bonus)
10. A sports section for a newspaper dated Tuesday August 23, 2005 (not hand written) (40 minute bonus).
11. A photo of a bartender signing a beer pitcher (50 minute bonus).
12. A synthetic earthworm (any color) that measures at least as long as this sentence. (15 minute bonus)
13. An announcement or flyer for the 5th Annual Washington Lake Association Regatta (20 minute bonus).
14. A photo of a team member looking down a fire pole from the 2nd floor of a fire house (20 minute bonus).

Special Optional Item:
Take a photo of the following license plates if you see them along the way. Your team will be rewarded with bonus time (as indicated below) for each state license plate photo you collect.
Note: Rubber Duck must be in each photo and you can only pick up a bonus once for each state.

- Alaska, New Mexico, Minnesota, Colorado, Oregon (5 minute bonus each)
- Illinois, Florida, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Delaware (3 minute bonus each)

P.S. Don’t forget to get the rubber duck in ALL your photos.

The Visits List (v2005)

Here's the Visits List from 2005 (draft version) to give first-timers and visitors a glimpse into what make the Island Pond Road Rally click...

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The following lists are collectively known as The Visits List. The Mandatory Visits must be completed before your team will be considered finished with the Rally. Any of the Mandatory Visits not completed will carry a 30-minute penalty when your Bonus Time is calculated.

The Optional Visits include towns and places you may choose to visit depending on the physical location and mental state of your Rally Team. Optional Visits carry a Time Bonus, which will be deducted from your Overall Elapsed Time if verified in accordance with the Rally Rules. The Visits List is intentionally arranged in somewhat random order.

Note: Your Rubber Duck must be in every photo you take for the Road Rally.

Mandatory Visits:

1. Pick up a free gun lock at the Wilton Police Station (Wilton, NH).

2. Take a photo of one of your team members being measured for the “proper draw length” inside Morse’s Sporting Goods store. Be sure to congratulate Bonnie and/or Walter Morse on their being named 2004 Citizens of the Year in Hillsborough. (Contoocook Falls Road - Hillsborough, NH)

3. Find and take a photo of a headstone for someone in the Vose family (a Storer ancestor) (Old Cemetery - Washington, NH).

4. Take a photo of a team member enjoying a shot of tequila with a stranger at Sunset Lanes and Lounge (John Stark Highway – Newport, NH) Note: Opens at 4pm.

5. Visit the Harpoon Brewery in Windsor, VT and take a photo of a team member enjoying a pint of beer next to the bottling line. Note: Closes at 8pm (Ruth Carney Drive, Windsor, VT)

6. Tonight is “Zodiac Night” at the Fairbanks Museum and Planetarium in St. Johnsbury, VT. What zodiac sign is featured this evening? ( Main Street - St. Johnsbury, VT)

7. Visit Pete & Gerry’s Organic Eggs in Monroe, NH and bring in one of six eggs signed by Pete & Gerry (Buffum Road ,Monroe, NH). Note: Please take only one egg and leave the others for the other rally teams. If there’s only one egg left when you arrive, please bring the basket too.

Optional Visits:

1. Pick up a building permit application at the Community Development Office (Peterborough, NH). (50 minute bonus)

2. Pick up a copy of the Greenfield Spirit newspaper (Greenfield, NH). (40 minute bonus)

3. A photo of your team members with at least one stranger in the pro shop at the John C. Cain Golf Course (E Unity Rd – Newport, NH). (40 minute bonus)

4. When was Miller State Park in Peterborough created? (15 minute bonus)

5. Take a photo of a team member at the ticket window at Ascutney Mountain Resort (Brownsville, VT).

6. Get a playbill for “Beauty and the Beast”, now showing at the New London Barn Theater (New London ,NH)

7. Collect a copy of the menu from the Parker House Inn and Restaurant (Quechee, VT)

8. Vermont’s only national park is located in Woodstock, VT. Take a photo of a team member in front of it.

9. Bragg Farm Sugar House and Gift Shop (E. Montpelier, VT)

10. Take a photo of a team member with on of the Alden Country Innkeepers - Frank, Darlene or Matthew Godoy (on the common, Lyme, NH)

11. Take a photo of your team in front of the sign for Camp Walt Whitman (Cape Moonshine Rd, Piermont, NH) (50 minute bonus)

12. Visit the Haverhill-Bath Covered Bridge, one of the oldest in the United States, and determine when it was built. (Haverhill, NH)

13. Take a photo of a team member doing a shot of tequila with a stranger at the bar at Molly’s Restaurant and Bar (Main St, Hanover, NH).

P.S. Don’t forget to get the rubber duck in your photos.