Monday, July 14, 2008

Credentials:

Greetings, All!

I am posting to not only dispel vicious rumors that Team Popped Biscuits is ill-equipped and under-qualified to run a competitive, clean and fun RR08 (see comments on previous few posts), but to ask others to share with everyone who's behind the smoke and mirrors of their teams. You see, an ex-PB member, who has chosen to chisel off from our team, has been drinking some very bitter refreshments of late, and pissing out even more toxic lies and dispositions! LIES, I TELL YA!

Here, I would like to outline our team, and the skill sets that each member brings to the table, and implore you to state your teams' abilities in the comment section of this post!

Team Popped Biscuits - in order of seniority:

Joe Pitkin: Joe brings Team Popped Biscuits irreverence and a blatant disregard for the feelings of others, namely the hapless 'victims' we pounce on during the trials of the Road Rally. People feel sorry for Joe, and want to give things to him, like a soul or a ball gag.

Greg Fulcher: Greg has a knack for bamboozling strangers while making them think it was their idea in the first place to cooperate. A vigilante in a previous life, he'll stop at nothing and still have time to take a few photos, purely for your - yes YOUR - enjoyment, of course.

Don't pick your nose. It's rude, and unclean. Sheesh. Where was I? OH...

Jake "Big Man" Benjamin: Jake uses his mad verbalizing skillz to 'shock & awe' those around him. This is a good thing, mind you, because all the while, his enthusiasm radiates like the sun behind cumulus clouds on one of those inspirational posters you see in the waiting room of a dentist's office.

Marc "The Scientist": Our newest team playa who happens to look like Emilio Estevez, may be wearing a Tommy Bahama shirt and no pants, and white socks pulled up to his knees, not unlike Hunter S. Thompson. Marc brings to Team Popped Biscuits a curious layer of scientific prowess and lightning-fast witticism. Marc refuses to have a battle of wits with unarmed opponents: this is why he likely won't be talking to you much. Nothing personal.

*Also noteworthy: Marc and Greg went to college together in the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont, where they need no maps to navigate.

Mystery Member: We have one other teammate, but he shall remain un-named for the time being, as we're waiting for his probation officer to clear him of any further wrongdoings.

Now, finally: some unfinished business: katie seems to be saying we can't read maps. I would like to share with you a photo of Katie as a member of Team Popped Biscuits in 2006, helping read maps. You know, the ones on the insides of her eyelids... Now, keep in mind that she is, thus far, the only person on EARTH to have fallen sound asleep in a VW THING on the highway - the loudest, deadliest car ever to share the roads with you...

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7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was only sleeping because we were doing 15 mph on the HIGHWAY and had nothing better to do because, heck, we weren't getting anywhere fast

4:48 AM  
Blogger Greg said...

actually, this photo was taken just moments before the one of Katie sleeping - you can check the EXIF data on Flickr, if you want:

http://flickr.com/photos/gregfulcher/2537753220/in/set-72157605342766386/

11:04 AM  
Blogger Greg said...

We need to hear some trash-talk from other teams here.. Katie and I are getting bored of poking fun at one another - at least, speaking for myself...

Anybody read this thing anymore, anyhow?

-g

2:41 AM  
Blogger Jake B said...

I remember when Katie tried to steal me from Team PB, but I resisted, and I to see nothing wrong with a mini van filled with men

7:47 AM  
Blogger Greg said...

Jake... She tried to do what? Please tell us what happened, in detail.

7:56 PM  
Blogger Jake B said...

It started on a cold winter day. I was with Joe and Katie and she tried to steal me right in front of Joe with promises of using my dream team name: Team Tuna Sandwich™ (©2006 Jacob Benjamin All Rights Reserved). But I resisted her devilish lure as yet another year goes by as the name Team Tuna Sandwich sits waiting for a proud group worthy of the name.

8:11 AM  
Blogger Aaron Ouellette - thebottlefarm.com said...

Mystery man reads it, mystery man wanted to remain a mystery until he could confirm his participation.
:)

12:32 PM  

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